going dark + finding fire : winter solstice
seasonal newsletter, 2024
in this 2024 winter solstice newsletter
reflections + intentions self-led workshop
whispers : winter solstice playlist
resonance institute : POP offerings for all
frequency amp : my favorites list
if you’re new here — welcome! 💙
hi everyone,
here we are on the darkest day of the year. today and every day after until the summer solstice, a little more light will return a sliver at a time. we should cherish this fact. we should also not let it fool us. we know we have entered darkness. i’ve only just begun to get my bearings again post election. not being surprised is not the same thing as moving through a first wave of acceptance about what has happened, what is happening, and what it means for all of us so very differently.
for whatever reason i’ve started channel journaling in public. phrases and short poems are flowing out of me. in the past these sentences and lyrics would have been stashed away in my journals. but i’m beginning to have less and less of a reason not to share what’s moving through my system all the time. this is, after all, the fires of creation, and the fires of creation make new soil.
five years ago in December 2019, my family and i traveled to Hawaii to visit my Aunti and cousin on big island and Maui. while on Hilo side, my partner, brother, and I took a day trip to Isaac Hale Park, where the new Pohoiki Black Sand Beach was created by the Kīlauea volano just the year before. the lava became a black rock river that carved itself deftly, destroying rainforest and homes before meeting its match at the ocean’s edge. at the beach, volcanic waves of rock formed formidable and powerful walls of new earth. we found leis of orchids adorning altars to honor Pele in naturally formed alcoves. my company and i knew instinctively to become quiet. this was a sacred place. a place of destruction birthing new land by the ocean waters of creation. the red and black rock sang stories of the journey ancient earth had made as it cycled down through the layers of crust and mantle to the core of this planet and back again. it sang of rebirth and ascent as a promise after deep descent.
at the time i understood that meeting the land in this way was meeting face to face with the divine tensions and contradictions of creation. i had no way of knowing, of course, how important these teachings would become over and over again as my inner and outer worlds have transformed, and continue to transform, over years that followed.
what are we if not volcanos with a fire at the center of us? what is the fire in our belly, our nervous system intelligence, the expression waiting to move through our fingers and voices but the fires of creation? what, do you imagine, built this waking dream we’re living in?
in Chinese culture, 2024 was the year of the wood dragon. in session after session with clients over the last several months, and in my own inner work, the dragons are awake. the dark dragon inside of me is carrying the fires of my rage. and yet what longs to emerge is unmitigated creativity, the waters of flow and emotion. what is being birthed in the destruction of now is also what is being built word by word, idea by idea, song by song, relationship by relationship, story by story.
so day by day, as we move towards the light, remember that it is in the dark where the old lands submerge and become molten and malleable again. it is in the dark where we incubate the new land that is waiting to burst forth through us. it is in the quiet where we encounter what lies between us and healing. and that we don’t create what we imagine out there before we create it inside of ourselves.
given the year i’ve had, my system has been wintering in public for quite some time now. the last month or so has been one of the most challenging phases i’ve experienced in a while. but these seasons pass. with a lot of patience, and dare i say faith, the darkness transmutes. it becomes something else. nothing, nothing, nothing is forever. in this fecund moment for planting seeds that shape future storylines, i’m feeling more than ready and very curious to spiral through the season(s) ahead, and to spiral through them with you.
poet, public speaker, and visionary ALOK often says, “i love you and i need you.” over the many times i’ve heard them write or say this phase, i’ve noticed a dissonance in my system. it’s an old vibration of individualized independence, echoing from some conditioned belief i’m carrying about being able to go it alone, to be the brave little soldier my army brat upbringing taught me to be. thank goodness for this resilience. truly. and also, thank goodness for the people i love and who love me. thank goodness for the people i need and who need me. we are the reason to stay here, to push through the muck towards the sun, to keep going as a revolutionary act.
thank you for being here. i love you and i need you.
welcome to the winter, loves. welcome to a new year.
winter solstice reflections + intentions ::: a self-led workshop
i created a reflection and intention setting ritual for myself and thought i’d share it with you! it weaves together wise guidance i’ve seen from leaders i love and admire as well as my own frequencies for shaping ecosystems and relationships inside and out. explore what resonates, leave what doesn’t. may it guide you well. enjoy!
workshop sections: (pick 1-3 for one sitting)
part 1: relationships, learning, and celebrations
part 2: weaving threads of relationships + practice
part 3: anchor values, interests + principles
part 4: intentions
part 5: divination guidance (tarot or oracle spread)
here’s a peek at the first of a five part set of reflection prompts and guidance for planting seeds and releasing what it’s time to let be.
whispers : winter solstice playlist
if you hang with me sometimes on IG, you might have seen that i’m done with spotify. well, i am done with spotify in spirit, but it’s going to take a minute before i can officially move to Tidal. i’ve been listening to and curating music on spotify since 2008, so i have some archives to go through…
why Tidal? well, with 24-bit digital music, it has better sound. it’s a dedicated space for music only. it pays artists .01 cent per stream compared with spotify’s .006 cents per stream. there’s also a music video library and influenced by list on each artist page. i’m into it…
local tunes by foamboy and Chad Crouch. highly recommend checking out Crouch’s prolific contribution to Oregon’s field sounds layered with beautiful instrumentals. love this EP of lake and synth sounds, especially.
throw backs from Nelly Fertado, Peter Gabriel, and Kate Bush.
heavy rotation tracks include folk singer Tucker Zimmerman’s “The Season” and “Dream Police” by Mk.gee. this track and Mk.gee’s record are easily my favorite sounds from the year.
Resonance Institute
POP or Parts on Parts is an emerging offering in partnership with Trinity Capili of Creaturepace. we weave together embodiment and parts work practice to guide people into deeper relationships and conversations with parts of the body and the mind.
for the first time, we’ll be offering an open to all workshop monthly in January and February before offering our three part series again from March-May. some experience with parts work is recommended by not required. we’re looking for a minimum to fly and would love to see you in January!
frequency amp — some 2024 favorites
📕 books
What It Takes to Heal: How Transforming Ourselves Can Change the World by Prentis Hemphill — Prentis has been referred to as the James Baldwin of our times, and that sounds right to me. their chapter on “Mapping Relationships” articulates the most important teachings i’ve learned from them. a critical read for navigating our relationships with our bodies, ourselves, and one another. if you’re curious to learn grounded and accessible ways of understanding the role of embodiment in transforming the world, this is your 2025 read.
Sand Talk: How Indigenous Thinking Can Save the World by Tyson Yunkaporta — this book came to me through the internet ether. it is brilliant in its tone of humor and reverence for humanity, its articulation of patterns in the natural world, and its clear-eyed understanding of the importance of shifting everything for the sake of the earth and future generations. SUCH an important book.
The Mountain Under the Sea by Ray Nayler — this is the first fiction book i’ve been able to read cover to cover since i left my role as a public school english teacher in 2021. it’s sci fi speculative fiction masterpiece for lovers of octopus, the future, and interspecies communication. rings with some frequencies of Margaret Atwood’s Oryx & Crake. read it voraciously.
🎥 films
Jules — perhaps the most memorable movie i saw this year. explorations of love, aging, and finding home far away from home.
Will and Harper — a tender and honest account of Will Ferrel and his 30-year friend Harper Steele as they road trip the country after Harper’s transition to becoming an out trans woman.
🎶 music
Mk.gee’s Two Star and the Dream Police — resonating with sounds from Bon Iver, Michael Jackson, and Springsteen, i loved this record immediately. it’s turned into a bit of an obsession. highly recommend checking out the music videos as well. freaking love this record.
Arooj Aftab’s Night Reign — another masterpiece from this artist after their 2021 masterpiece Vulture Prince.
💭 visionary
ALOK: just listen…
So much goodness, as always. Thank you <3