formlessness + viscous maps : spring equinox
seasonal newsletter, 2025
in this 2025 spring equinox newsletter:
there are lots of announcements this season. i’m a little scared, but here we go.
jax leigh : welcome to my digital ecosystem, five years in the making
echo onda : an all call for music video extra friends
POP universe : spring basics series, monthly class, and The Ground Floor opens
Resonance Institute : happy 5th birthday
GO : spring equinox playlist : now on Tidal
frequency amp : what i’ve been vibing
if you’re new here — welcome! 💙
from my tender heart to yours, welcome to spring.
did you know that a caterpillar becomes goo in the chrysalis before it becomes butterfly? new legs and wings don’t grow from an intact body. instead, caterpillars liquify into soup, into genetic instructions for a new form. they dissolve completely before becoming a new shape.
a month ago, i went away to Vashon Island on creative retreat. the trip also happened to be just after my husband and partner of 13 years made the decision to fully separate. we had been trying to work things out for years, but despite our deep soul love for one another, we just couldn’t fit ourselves into a marriage or life partnership anymore. instead, we painfully and slowly released a relationship shape that belonged to past versions of ourselves. the anger and resentment that so often fuels separation became a mutually dedicated effort to understand and fiercely protect the new relationship shape of our love.
on this day before the equinox, i’m able to offer words to this death of one kind without breaking down. even a month ago in the depth of winter on Vashon, i couldn’t have imagined doing this. at the time, when i looked inside, i could see the dark matter cavern where my heart was broken. sensing them nearby, i invited land spirit, rain, geese, and frog songs into my lungs and throat. it was a resuscitation ritual. i wondered if this is what happens to the viscous liquid in chrysalis, that suddenly formlessness is re-animated, resuscitated into new form.
Dustin and I drove together to and from our last couple’s counseling session last week. on the way home, we talked about how grateful we are to still have us, how grateful we are to have a backyard studio where he lives and we can co-parent the dogs and take care of the house that we’re blessed to call ours. we know we have challenges ahead, but we are grateful we have the opportunity to learn who we are now and nurture our friendship through this next chapter.
i imagine that you have been grieving as well. that is a mark of winter, i’m learning. loss. mourning. a time of decay and release. maybe, like in my world, it has been layers of loss as we witness one world coming to an end. this is an unspeakably cruel and terrifying time. but it is not doomsday. our more recent and ancient ancestors have been through versions of this before. patterns repeat themselves over and over throughout history. if it is apocalypse, it is one among several or more. some interpretations of the mayan calendar speak to this, these cycles of earth epochs, barely comprehensible to us and our limited ability to grasp the true expanse of time and timelessness. but i do wonder what it will be like this time. i do wonder if we might choose hope and possibility over despair and inevitability.
last night, because it was next in the cue, i watched the Libya episode of Anthony Bourdain’s, Parts Unknown, released in 2013. just two years before filming in 2011, after nearly 50 years of tyrannical rule by dictator, Muammar Gaddafi, a swift and coordinated effort led by a civilian rebel army overthrew the oppressive regime. but liberation didn’t change daily reminders of the war zone that killed friends and siblings and parents and grandparents and children. not to mention that freedom from a tyrannical government did not offer equal rights to women. given the parallels between the eccentric megalomania of Gaddafi and Trump, it was all too real and uncomfortable listening to stories from these young men, these former rebel soldiers in their 20’s at the time who found their courage in numbers. they used social media and home made canons to fight against military tanks and take down a maniacal tyrant. true to Bourdain form, he made space for the stories of then and now over a meal. these young men expressed their delight in the taste of fried chicken, they bbq’ed lamb together by the sea without fear, they explained the source of their courage — to fight for a better future for their children, for their people.
as i watched, i just kept thinking: this could be us. and because we are all connected, on some level i know that that is us.
some of us are directly feeling the impact of the this administration’s flood the zone tactics during these first few months in office. some of us are undocumented migrants, some of us are transgender, some of us are government employees, some of us have lost loved ones and homes to natural disasters and are looking to systems run by greed and ineptitude to help them get back on their feet. some of us, many of us, are connected to loved ones such as these. some of us know that the war is here, that the war has been here.
this administration’s intention is to poison us with confusion and misinformation until we fall into distracted powerlessness. their mission is to break our hearts into submission, to turn us against one another with circular debates. who can transcend the polarization freeze and discover our shared humanity in this war of wills? who can hear the voice of their power in this cacophony?
we can.
in my solstice newsletter, i wrote about the fires of creation that exist both inside of us and at the center of our home planet earth. at the time, i couldn’t feel that fire. and i certainly didn’t feel it through the contraction of winter as i grieved the loss of one world, and i grieved the loss of my most precious external relationship. recently, i sense the winter embers becoming solar flares of fire inside of me and inside of people i’m building with and inside of interconnected ecosystems interested in liberation and the millions of people organizing and marching together against facism.
i also know that for some of us, living through seasons is not the same as moving with seasons through the great spiral. change is becoming less of a choice and more of an imperative. the old shape is falling away and on the other side of it are questions for us about who we will become and how we will become. to draw loved ones near and allow spirit or faith or god or possibility to guide us towards the arc of justice and joy is the call of our times. it involves the messy, out of control unknown of turning to viscous goo, of turning into something unrecognizable. it involves trust, even faith, that the way ahead is there, written on the liquified and liminal DNA found in the dark matter cavern of our tender, broken hearts.
they do not want us to remember our power. they’re counting on our frozen amnesia. but what they are incapable of understanding is that we are powerful because we love. love is a force that always wins. that is why you are here. right now. reading this. at this very specific and pivotal moment in human history. you are here, heart beating, lungs breathing, because many someones in your bloodline loved fiercely enough to keep going. to host gatherings with friends and neighbors. to collect food, make meals, and break bread. to dance and sing through the night. to fall in love in times of genocide and war. to offer kind words to a stranger. to give thanks to the land and all land stewards. to make art in times of destruction.
love reaches across the veil from our ancestors who know intimately the lineage of this struggle and the necessity of joy for our solidarity and resilience. love reaches out from parts of us who need our compassionate witnessing to help shed the beliefs keeping them small. it reaches back from the future where our children and descendants live, giving us the courage to stand up strong against evil and hatred. it even reaches between those of us who we think are our enemies, but who are actually suffering in different ways from the same forces and systems that never loved us, that weren’t built to care for us.
even if we’re not here to see it, we can fall apart together and emerge in a new shape on the other side. it happens all the time.
thank you for being here. thank you for reading. i’m reaching out to you with support, love, and capacity as we cross the threshold to spring. i can’t wait to stand in awe of y[our] new shape. here we go.
“my hunch is that joy is an ember for our precursor to wild and unpredictable and transgressive and unboundaried solidarity. and that that solidarity might incite further joy… my hunch is that joy, emerging from our common sorrow… might draw us together.” — Ross Gay, poet and author of The Book of Delights and Inciting Joy
:::cue tone shift:::
🌀 welcome to the jax leigh digital ecosystem
after five years of daydreams and a year of design and creating, i’m very excited to welcome you to my new online home: jaxleigh. creation is a mysterious AF process. we get little bits and pieces at a time. we don’t always know where it’s going. sometimes we have to hold the ingredients loosely and wait for the line drawing to take shape before coloring in the form.
i’m pretty psyched about this form. and i am thrilled to welcome you to the first iteration of this digital ecosystem and its evolutions.
i know many of us are seeking solutions apart from social media and feel very over giving our creative energy away to spaces that support billionaires and exploit us for the attention economy. i am grateful to
for many reasons, but also for amplifying the work of the brilliant kening zhu. it was kening’s generosity that held up a lantern to a different way of thinking about digital space and what’s possible. also a shout out to for the initial encouragement, for the thought partnership, and many other friends who held space for my excitement and mysteriousness.please take a moment for a visit! and let me know if you encounter any glitches. it’s real DIY over here. :) thanks! | jaxleigh.com
🎶 an invitation to echo onda’s first music video
the record is done and mastered (!!!). songs will begin to be shared over the summer into fall (!!!). live shows will somehow materialize for us (!?!). and i’m making a music video with my friends, celina flores and jen shin. we’d love for you to join us! all you have to do is walk (in front of a camera…). :)
🚶🏽♀️🚶🏼🚶🏿♂️
we’ll be shooting the last weekend in may (fri 5/30 or sat 5/31, tbd). we’re looking for friends, family, and supportive community to be extras.
here’s the ask:
you’ll receive an email ahead of time with clear instructions + probably a dorky welcome video from me
we’ll meet in the late afternoon/evening on shoot day for light rehearsal
we’ll take a break over some some sizzle pie za 🍕
we’ll shoot through golden hour/dusk
🎬 if you’re interested in joining us or have questions, please email me at echoondamusic@gmail.com.
👣 POP universe
parts on parts : embodiments and parts work basics series
because everything feels so slippery and upside down right now,
and i pushing our parts on parts basics series over a month. our three-part workshop series that teaches parts work and embodiment basics will begin in april. space for each workshop is limited to 6 participants and workshops will run after 3 registrants.part one: meaning + mapping // sunday, april 13 from 11:30am-2:30pm
part two: relationships + conversations // sunday, may 18 from 11:30am-2:30pm
part three: patterns + constellations // sunday, June 8 from 11:30-2:30pm
sliding scale $70-110 / 3-hr workshop || learn more + register here
parts on parts monthly practice class
we are also thrilled to announce our monthly POP Practice class for those already familiar with IFS and TBFM. this monthly class is offered at a sliding scale and held on the last Sunday of the month from 11am-1pm. space is limited to 6 participants and workshops will run after 3 registrants.
sliding scale $35-55 / 2-hr class || learn more + register here
The Ground Floor
POP and Resonance now has it’s own part-time physical space!!! if you’re showing up for POP, we’ll see you at The Ground Floor, Trinity’s new movement studio in NE Portland. 🐆
🧁 happy 5th birthday Resonance Institute!
Resonance Institute turned 5 years old on march 10 and that feels like cause for celebration. i want to say thank you. even though it may look like it from the outside, we don’t build or do anything by ourselves. Resonance thrives because of the brilliant, compassionate, welcoming and inspiring people that i have met through this journey, people who have become thought partners and fellow dreamers and co-creators and dear friends.
it is the commitment to relationship and care that allows seeds to grow and flourish. some of you, many of you, reading this played an integral role in helping the Resonance seed become a proud sapling. thank you for your trusting me with your vision, with your ecosystems, with walking with you through the unknown.
happy birthday to Resonance Institute, but congratulations to us. one of us is all of us, after all. cheers, loves. 🥂
🎧 go : an equinox mixtape
this season’s mixtape stokes me out. i’ve been stepping back into my r&b roots with Doechii and SZA. been following global melodic jazz vibes with Khruangbin and Thundercat. been fueling my crush on Trevor Powers with Youth Lagoon’s new record, Rarely Do I Dream. my favorite song from this season’s batch goes to ‘Jethro’ by Thundercat. so damn good.
enjoy! || visit playlist
📢 frequency amp
📚 been reading: solito by javier zamora - a 9-year-old’s migration story from el salvador || on tyranny by timothy snyder - a pocket book guide for what we can learn from history || the hidden reality by brian green - third in a series about string and quantum physics || convergence newsletters - wise, grounded movement building guidance
📽 been watching: my old ass - a humorous and heartfelt movie about loss, love, and 40 || dinner time live with david chang - exactly what it sounds like… || white lotus season 3 - about what follows us through escapism || sister wives - a docu series following a polygamous family through 20 years
📰 been stacking : the shattering is a portal from Storywork Studio || Rowan White - indigenous seed keeper and storyteller || Starhawk - earth activist and organizing guidance through the lens of values and belonging || white people you have a job to do from Super Probably Relevant Content - supporting the undocumented community