a poem : orphan snake skin inheritance
a reading + song
[audio reading + some singing at the end]
yesterday, during my trip undersea, i approached the continental shelf and stood over the churning abyss of my brokenheartedness
down there is a slick, spiraling kaleidoscope of loss, a place behind the veil in the realm of dark matter. the promise of light, elusive on the other side, tests the limits of trust.
it’s been the second or third June now that the adoptee wound at the horizon of a new season makes itself visible. when skin sheds, the abandonment is raw, exposed. i’m sure i’m rejected. betrayal flirts and threatens to materialize. shadow seeps through the grates of twins season where winged creatures traverse great distances across the open space between belonging and exile. this journey exhausts me. i long for adventures this body might take while in the miles and miles of wake and walking.
maybe i don’t deserve it. i’ve been laying in bed till noon and indulgent, a binger biting at the edges of self compassion. last week Patty Smith’s M Train leapt from a tiny library during my neighborhood walk. i’ve entered familiar rock and roll sonic scapes beating against new eardrums and wonder if i’ll ever enjoy secure conversation again. apparitions of ancient bathhouse caves tempt me to go home and home and home. i’d commit to put words to the ineffable essence of place.